~Seven Sentances~
1 A Fly named “McFly” with OCD, in a jungle (or swamp)
leaving the psychiatrist’s office
2 A hungry Toad spots the fly
3 The toad begins to hunt the fly for dinner
4 McFly tries to get Away, but it must circle a specific trees 3 times
Before it can pass it
5 The toad whips out its tung to catch McFly, but keeps nearly missing as McFly
Uncontrollably spins in circles.
6 Just as the chase escalades, the egger toad inexpertly snags its tung on a tree branch,
Suspending him over a cliff.
7 McFly, nearly escapes, as two human onlookers comment on the spectacle they’ve just
Witnessed
posted by Joshua at 2:36 PM
2 Comments:
First of all how would you show that Flay has OCD because flying in a circle is a nature of fly. I find tree very high for toed, how about bush or some plant. I could not imagine two humans can observe fly very closely. How about two Toads are observing this incident and learned lesson that “eating house fly is not a good idea“.
11:20 AM
Haha... a fly with OCD. I think this idea can be very funny. Your story is not really clear, but I think if you weren't confined to 7 sentences, you would be able to explain everything more clearly. You say the fly is leaving the psychiatrist's office, but the area is a swampland? Is it a town within the swampland then, or is it something different. I'm not really sure about this. If the fly has to fly around a certain tree 3 times before he feels comfortable with leaving, why can't the frog catch the fly during the 3 laps around? Is the frog confused by the fly's actions or what? I'm also not sure what you mean with your last sentence. Does the fly escape the situation or not? You say he nearly escapes, and then the humans discuss what they've just seen, but this doesn't really resolve the conflict for me. Keep working on the story, I'd like to hear it in greater detail.
9:50 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home